


Shuu and Saiko's Epic France Adventures

by godcomplexfics (godtiercomplex)



Series: dysfunctional family funtimes [15]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Gen, M/M, Unhealthy Relationships, saiko is a troll, step parenting is hard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-24 08:10:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9712805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/godtiercomplex/pseuds/godcomplexfics
Summary: Shuu just really wants to get in on Haise's good side, and Saiko has plans all of her own.In which; Shuu really should've paid more attention towhySaiko would agree to go out of the country with him, Haise is indifferent to Shuu's attempts to woo him, and Saiko is a famous youtube Let's Player.(Reposted due to Ao3 mishaps)





	

**Author's Note:**

> You can reasonably assume this takes place in 2010. 
> 
> At this point, Haise and Shuu's relationship has moved to a 'I'm not going to give you up' and 'I don't even care anymore' type of status. You can guess who is who. 
> 
> "Dolce trash" comes from Nadia's tag for Shuu on her blog.

When they checked in after a long flight, the hotel staff wished him and his daughter a nice stay. Shuu Tsukiyama wasn’t even sure what to say to that, but he was glad that she hadn’t been mistaken as his lover or the like. Saiko was tired, but she understood the French well enough if the glare she aimed his way was any indication. He soothed her in English, but she responded in French and snatched the key from his hand.

“Teenagers,” he said with a shrug and a well placed laugh. Inside, he thought, _You little brat_. Because she was. She hadn’t once said thanks for his offer to take her on the trip, just sorta accepted it wearily as if he had forced it on her. But he was determined to win her over--after all, didn’t they share a common love for languages? Wouldn’t it look great to Haise if he got his daughter to like him first? He had already given up on Urie and Shirazu as lost causes but--he knew that he had Tooru almost in his corner and if he could get Saiko on his side that was three out of the seven people he needed to convince to support his and Haise’s love. Then he would be able to focus on the truest hardship of all, getting Haise to acknowledge him--.

“Dolce trash, I’m going to leave you.” Saiko had her rolling purple suitcase in one hand and her laptop bag across her chest and the elevators doors were closing as she spoke.

He swore and then rammed the button, but it closed without him.

He took the next car up, and headed into the suite. Thankfully she hadn’t done something childish like bolted the door shut, but she was in the middle of shooting a video and aimed a glare his way when he got in the frame by mistake. As if she shouldn’t be happy to have such a famous person grace her screen.

“Anyway,” she said in English, “I’m currently in France so you know what that means!”

He didn’t know what that meant, but assumed it had something to do with her terrible gaming hobby, and headed into his room. Or what he had been going to make his room, but her clothes were already spilled out on the bed. He took a deep breath and then headed into the smaller room.

 

TIMESTAMP: 17H56 03 April 20xx

LOCATION: PARIS, FRANCE

TRANSCRIPT: In English, but subbed in Japanese, French, and English.

 

KANO: Bonjour!  Just landed in Paris, the grand city of dreams. Some loser paid for the whole trip, so that’s a thing. Getting here was interesting, I got flown first class the whole time. Our plane had a few issues, but then well yeah that’s not interesting. Oh wait hold on, ugh get out of my shot! What? No, why would I have locked the door?? I’m not Shirazu, you buttface.

LOSER: I’m just saying ma cherie, I would have been very cross. Also, ‘buttface’ now, now, don’t you have more clever insults than that? You’re in France! Live a little!

KANO: ...anyway. I’m currently in France so you know what that means! I’ll be doing a meet and greet at this cute cafe that Laurie-chan sent me!! Details are below and in the about section on the video. I can’t wait to meet all of you. This is Miss Kano signing off. Bye-bye!!!

 

Tsukiyama was pouting in his room because she’d taken the bigger one, but it wasn’t like he needed all the space. She had three computers to set up for the week they’d be here. And she had her video game equipment too. He would deal.

She called up Haise before she took a shower to head over to the expo. It didn't even cross her mind to call her birth mom to let her know she's landed safely.

"Yes, Maman, we landed okay. The hotel staff thinks I'm Tsukiyama's daughter which is like super gross and he's like encouraging it!"

"Ah, I'm sorry to hear that, Saiko. Are you going to the expo now?"

"Yeah, I'm going to do a meet and greet at that cafe I showed you first and then Laurie and I will walk around to the other hotel."

"Alright, just be sure to let Tsukiyama know when to expect you back."

She fell silent and groaned for a long while, "Sassan, do I have to?"

"Well I mean as long as I know where you are I guess it's okay." He said once she was done whining. "Just remember the time difference but call me if anything changes in your plans."

"Yes, Maman! I'll be taking a lot of photos and streaming in a few hours and all day tomorrow! Kisses, bye-bye!"

She was glad that each bedroom had its own bathroom and quickly got dressed up for her first international expo. It would be a different playing field entirely but she knew this would broaden her viewership if she managed to pull it off. She went to tell Tsukiyama that she was leaving but he was in the shower so she just left.

At the cafe she got to meet up with some of her long-time fans who'd loved her since she posted her first video at fourteen apparently. Thankfully, Laurie was a thirty-year old genderqueer person who didn't let any one fan linger for too long. The last thing she wanted to do was encourage a stalker like her Maman had done with Tsukiyama.

She snapchatted photos of herself with some of her fans and posted them on her Instagram with the captions like: wish u were here! showing france how i like to party! on my way to the expo!!!

Laurie was her unofficial French teacher and they had first met on a forum when concepts like Internet safety had barely been a concern in her head. Haise had been worried but had met Laurie himself before she did during a trip he’d taken last year during his book tour and had approved of her.

Laurie tapped her watch, before dismissing her remaining fans with a wave of her tanned wrist, “You all can visit Miss Kano at her booth later on tonight and all day tomorrow. We have a schedule to keep so bye.”

Saiko waved and blew kisses to her adoring fans before grinning at Laurie, “Before we go to the expo I really wanna meet Charlie!”

“Well, he’ll like the company so that’s alright with me. Make sure you send a text to your papa so he knows what we’re doing.”

“I’ll let Maman know!”

 

When Shuu got out of the shower, Saiko was nowhere to be found. There was a laptop charging and a game system half put together in her room, but the small teenager who had been entrusted to his care was missing. He told himself that he would not panic, and searched the hotel. And then he called the staff and showed them pictures of her to see if anyone had seen her. A bellboy said that he had helped her get a cab, and so he set off to a cafe in the heart of Paris.

His manager kept on calling him about his scheduled shoot but he didn’t understand that he had misplaced the beloved daughter of the man he loved most in the world. Haise would never speak to him again if he didn’t find her. It was this thought that kept him from calling Haise to admit that she had gone missing. Eventually he was threatened enough that he showed up at the shoot and hurried through it.

Kanae looked completely exhausted and annoyed as he hurried off from the shoot, but Kanae was always annoyed whenever Haise or his family was brought up. Shuu ended up back at the hotel room with no Saiko in sight at all. He had no idea what to do.

 

TIMESTAMP: 12H20 04 April 20xx

LOCATION: PARIS, FRANCE

TRANSCRIPT: In English, but subbed in Japanese, French, and English.

 

KANO: Bonjour! Today I’m going to be at the expo all day and livestreaming, so be sure to keep this tab opened. I’ll answer any questions you have!

 

…

 

KANO: MEGAI20 asks: Was that Tsukiyama Shuu with you in yesterday’s video? Who even knows.

 

KANO: unt1lub3l13v3 asks: what my measurements are? Hey, have you see Laurie?? Laurie!!

 

LAURIE: Yes?

 

KANO: I might be small but Laurie is super strong and tough, say that to my face again! Also, my Maman would totally kick your ass!

 

LAURIE: What did someone say? Do we need to lock the comments again?

 

KANO: Nope! Anyway, I’m going to be playing against some gamers in a bit, so I’ll be moving locations. You can find me at . . .

 

Haise watched Saiko’s livestream with some interest. Or rather, he let it play in the background of his laptop while he wrote out a grocery list with Shirazu. His phone was balanced on his knee, and Shirazu had a pen tucked behind his ear. Tooru and Urie had went off to study, and Arima and Akira were both at work.

“Since she’ll be gone for the rest of the week we don’t need to stock up on Saiko’s snacks right away,” Shirazu said as he look at the list between them.

“Urie likes some of those things too, so it’s okay for us to get them.” Haise’s phone vibrated on his knee and he checked to see who it was from before setting it back down. “Oh, but I think Tooru might not like these as much anymore. We’ll have to see if he’ll like this other snack better.” Saiko screamed on the feed, and he looked over to see her meeting one of her idols before turning back to Shirazu. “Anything you want to try?”

“Hmm, maybe I can see what’s at the store. Oh, Arima liked that new ice cream we bought last time. And I think we need more beer for Akira.”

Haise’s phone vibrated again so he sighed and actually read the messages.

_Tsukiyama Shuu: What is Saiko’s favorite thing to do?_

_Tsukiyama Shuu: Just for me to plan out what we’re going to do today! <3_

He didn’t bother replying but texted Saiko instead. _Did you really not tell Tsukiyama where you were going? He keeps on asking me weird questions to figure out where you are, I think. Anyway, make sure to take care of strangers._

He got a snapchat of her and Laurie in reply. And on the feed when he looked back she was grinning.

“Hey, Maman!! I don’t know if you’re tuning in right now but I will keep on texting you, okay? Okay! So I’m playing against you guys next right? BRING IT.”

Another text from Tsukiyama and he could almost sense his panic now.

“Why don’t you just ask me where she is or for her number?” Haise wondered out loud.

“What’d you say, Sassan?”

“Oh. Tsukiyama doesn’t know where Saiko is. Oh, but I know where she is so that’s all that matters really, Shirazu,” Haise added that before Shirazu could grow concerned over his only sister, “He keeps on texting me, but he won’t just come out and say ‘I lost your child’.”

“Fucking loser.”

“Don’t swear, Shirazu.” He finally texted Tsukiyama back that she liked video games, and then put his phone back down, “Shall we go to the store now?”

“Did you tell him you know where Saiko is?” Shirazu asked as they left the house and headed to the store down the street. They no longer lived in the apartment of his childhood, as an increased family size meant that the house needed to get larger as well. His side bag was filled with reusable bags that they had collected over the years.

“Oh, we need to get pet food as well,” Haise said instead of answering Shirazu’s question. He didn’t want to linger on thinking about Tsukiyama more than he had to. “I think Saiko said that Momo only likes a certain brand . . . what was it again?”

“Oh, man, maybe Tooru knows.”

 

Haise was ever so helpful. Of course Shuu knew that Saiko liked video games! Did he think that he had not paid any attention to her? Or rather; it was impossible for anyone to spend as much time in the house as he had and not pick up on almost all the likes and dislikes of the inhabitants. Saiko was one of the easiest to figure out since she barely left her bedroom since she was so caught up in playing video games. She only cared about fashion and clothes, and languages. And her fashion taste was just horrible, so in the end it was only languages and clothes. She’d taught herself English and French and he admired her for that, but now he was ready to wring her neck because he had been all over Paris and yet to run into her.

He was getting desperate and had even resorted to trying to text Haise for help without letting him know that he had lost his child. His lover was as helpful as ever, which was actually not at all. But this was just a test of Shuu’s love for Haise, as was almost all things Haise did. He would endure it because that was what people in love did. The rewards were all well worth it.

Saiko was just testing his patience now and there were no rewards or benefits awaiting him for playing along. He honestly didn’t get why Haise’s children refused to accept him as their future stepfather and insisted on hating him for past wrongs. They discounted everything he’d done in the last few years and insisted on only remembering the start of their relationship.

“Ahhhh, I am going to get killed.” He finally decided when he returned to the hotel room and there wasn’t even a sign that Saiko had returned. Everything was as she had left it. Which meant in a complete and total disarray that only made sense to those who were creatively-inclined. He could only remember Haise’s worst threat that he’d ever made and he was growing terrified as he tried her cell and it only rang and rang. If he didn’t find the missing child, that meant that if he returned to Japan without her, that he would never see Haise again. That would be the death of him. Saiko was literally going to ruin everything because she was a spoiled brat!

He had fallen onto the couch and was considering calling the police when he got a text from Tooru. It simply was a link to a youtube channel that when he clicked on it, he saw Saiko’s smiling face and a banner that said _thefrenchneet_ in bright letters and a gif of her smirking face. It was horrible. Why the hell had Tooru sent this to him?

He realized as sound started playing that she was filming live. _The little shit_. Where the fuck was she even? He did a quick search for large gaming events and soon found where she was. He had been thoroughly used so that she could attend some expo.

He was almost impressed, but grew terrified as she said, “Maman wants me to remind everyone that I can’t date until I finish high school so that means even though I’d really like to I am not allowed to give out kisses today.”

And then his phone rang.

He almost did not answer it but just seeing the sleeping Haise’s face made him weak. And he hadn’t heard his voice in so long but even if this was a goodbye call he would face his death proudly.

“Hello, my love. I’m guessing you’ve known where our dear daughter has been all this time, hm?”

“‘Our dear daughter’,” Haise repeated, “I would never send any of my children off with you and not be in constant communication with them, Tsukiyama.”

“Your lack of faith in me is so hurtful, my darling.”

“Considering what you’ve done, is it?”

“Honestly, Haise, that was so long ago you should really let it go.”

“I should let go what you did to me?” His voice got muffled for a moment, and Shuu could hear him laughing, “Anyway, please bring Saiko her laptop that’s been charging. The ones she took with her have all died.”

“. . .are, are you only calling me because her laptop is dead?”

“Why else would I be calling you? Also her extra battery for her camera is in her suitcase, she needs that as well.”

“Is there anything else that Princess Saiko needs?” He tried to keep the sarcasm down but honestly, he was hurt.

“No, that’ll be all. Thank you for taking such excellent care of Saiko, Tsukiyama.” Haise didn’t bother to keep his sarcasm down and Shuu sighed. At least he was still talking to him.

“We’ll be home at the end of the week, assuming that she has no more plans that I need to be made aware of.”

“You’ll have to ask her.” Haise hung up after that and Shuu flung himself back on the couch. The entire makeshift family of Sasaki Haise’s played him like he was a toy and he willingly allowed it because it was the family that belonged to Haise. At least Arima approved of him, so that was one parent down. He just needed to get Haise to stop being so cold all the time, and move on from their past, and accept their future. It had already been five years and his children still hated him.

 

TIMESTAMP: 22H20 04 April 20xx

LOCATION: PARIS, FRANCE

TRANSCRIPT: In French and English, but subbed in Japanese, French, and English.

 

LAURIE-CHAN: Miss Kano is wrapping up her last battle. She might be moving on to the final round, but our battery is currently dying so we will be ending the stream here.

 

LOSER: You would be Laurie, I assume? I have brought the battery for the princess.

 

LAURIE-CHAN: Oh. Thank you. You also brought the plug? You’re really nicer than I was led to believe. Please hold this and make sure to focus on Miss Kano while I change out the battery.

 

LOSER: I did not come here to be a cameraman for a child.

 

LAURIE-CHAN: I’m sure this will put you into Miss Kano’s good favor.

 

LOSER: I suppose I should thank you for escorting her around all this time.

 

LAURIE-CHAN: Mr. Sasaki already thanked me. Ah, I’m done. Thank you for holding it for me.

 

LOSER: What time will she be done?

 

LAURIE-CHAN: Depending on if she wins the final round, then she’ll be invited to the HQ in Tokyo next month.

 

LOSER: Oh thank god, at least that’s--.

 

KANO: Laurie-chan, are you even focusing on me?

 

LAURIE-CHAN: My apologizes. It’s been interesting meeting you, Mr. [BEEP].

 

ANNOUNCER: And the winner is Kano, of _thefrenchneet_! Congratulations, she will be moving up in our junior division and if she wins this next round she will be receiving an invitation to our Japan expo!

 

Saiko won the junior division title, and Shuu wanted to feel proud of her, but he was exhausted from looking for her for almost two days. Laurie was not only taller than him, but had thicker muscles and what looked like a beard. The people Saiko surrounded herself with were just weird. He knew he didn’t have room to talk considering his own inclinations but he did feel just the bit defensive at seeing his fifteen-year-old not-stepdaughter surrounded by greasy and unkempt twenty-year-olds.

He stepped in and interrupted their talk by informing them that young ladies needed proper sleep in order to be the best at what they did.

Saiko glared at him the entire time, and it wasn’t until they were in the cab that she told him why.

“Those were some of my sponsors!”

“. . . they smelled weird and didn’t seem like they had even seen the inside of a bathroom, how the hell do they even have money to sponsor you.”

“The tall one with the fizzy hair is older than Grandpa Arima! He is also the co-owner of--.”

“Okay, no. I can’t help but feel like Haise has entrusted you into my care, and why do you need to talk with people so much older than you?”

“You obviously do not understand the finer points of youtube gaming.”

If he banged his head on the seat a few times, well that was just between him, Saiko and the cabbie.

**Author's Note:**

> Being Shuu is suffering absolute _suffering_. 
> 
> Saiko and Laurie met while discussing the finer points of Riku's hair at the end of Kingdom Hearts II when she was like 12. 
> 
> Tooru is the most helpful person in the entire household. 
> 
> Saiko refuses to showcase Shuu on her channel, so she blurs and bleeps out all his identifying information. People still constantly ask if it's him or not.


End file.
